Why Calcium Isn’t the First Place I Look + Miso Sesame Cabbage Salad Recipe!

A few weekends ago I was at Three Stone Hearth doing “Ask the Nutritionist.”

A woman on a mission came in to ask me a very specific question.

She had been diagnosed with osteopenia and wanted to talk about calcium.

What foods to focus on.
Which supplements to take.
What she might be missing.

She had clearly been doing her research.

She’d spoken with practitioners.
Asked questions at the farmers market.
Read labels.
Thought this through.

She wasn’t careless.

She was trying to get it right.

And the conversation stayed there for a bit… focused on calcium.

Then I shifted it.

I asked about her digestion.
Her stress.
What her meals actually looked like day to day.

And I could feel it immediately.

She glazed over.

It wasn’t what she wanted to talk about.

She wanted to stay in calcium.
In food lists.
In figuring out the “perfect” way to eat.

Because that part feels productive.

It feels like progress.

But here’s the problem:

You can eat all the calcium in the world…

If your digestion isn’t working well, you’re not absorbing it.

If stress is high, your body isn’t prioritizing repair.

If your system is dysregulated, the nutrients don’t land the way you think they do.

This is where a lot of women get stuck.

Focusing on the visible lever.

Avoiding the foundational one.

Not intentionally.

Just… quietly.

Because it’s easier to keep researching than to shift how you’re actually living day to day.

And to be clear, this isn’t about calcium.

You’ll see this pattern everywhere:

Trying to find the perfect diet
The perfect supplement
The perfect protocol

While the basics: digestion, blood sugar, stress, consistency stay inconsistent.

So here’s a question worth asking yourself:

Where are you doing this right now?

Where are you focusing on getting something “just right”…

instead of looking at what your body actually needs to function better?

That’s usually the place to start.

Because the food is only part of the picture.

How your body digests, absorbs, and uses those nutrients is what actually determines the outcome.

If you want help looking at what your body actually needs beyond just nutrients (where the rubber meets the road) you can start with a discovery call.

We’ll sort through what you’ve been trying and what your body actually needs next. This is about finding the missing pieces to your health puzzle.

And just so we’re clear, this isn’t about avoiding calcium-rich foods!

They matter.

If you’re looking for a simple way to bring more in, this sesame + miso cabbage salad on my is a great place to start. Whole sesame seeds are an excellent source of calcium.

And this salad is absolutely delicious!

Spencer Huey’s Creamy Sesame Miso Dressing

Ingredients:

• 3 tablespoons (30g) sesame seeds 

• 1 garlic clove 

• 1 teaspoon (4g) toasted sesame oil 

• 1 teaspoon (7g) honey 

• 2 tablespoons (28g) rice vinegar

• 2 tablespoons (38g) miso (any kind)

• 1 lemon, zest and (2 tablespoons/30g) juice

• 4 tablespoons (60g) extra virgin olive oil 

• 1 medium head of green cabbage 

Instructions: 

1. In a dry pan, toast sesame seeds on medium heat until a few seeds start to pop and they start to lightly smoke. Immediately, pour the sesame seeds into a mortar to stop the cooking. Moving the pestle in a circular motion, grind the sesame seeds against the mortar until they are mostly broken down and resemble coarse sand. They’ll make a satisfying popping sound. If you don’t have a mortar and pestle you can use a food processor or dedicated coffee grinder and pulse.

2. Take the garlic clove and swipe it a few times against the bottom of the mortar. We want a hint of garlic but nothing overpowering. Add the toasted sesame oil, honey, rice vinegar, and miso. Use a microplane to zest the lemon and squeeze 2 tablespoons of lemon juice into the bowl. Use the pestle to mix and incorporate the miso. While stirring, drizzle in the olive oil. Taste the dressing; it should be nutty, tangy, salty and lightly sweet. Adjust with salt and vinegar as needed. 

3. Shred the cabbage into very fine shavings using a knife or a mandolin. If you want extra crunchy cabbage, soak in ice water for 30-45 min and then spin dry. 

4. To dress the salad, add the cabbage in a large bowl and sprinkle lightly with salt. Add some dressing (less than you think) and toss with your hands. Taste and add more dressing as needed. Create a mountain of crunchy perfectly dressed cabbage and sprinkle with more sesame seeds. 

Yields: 2/3 cup dressing
Time: 10 min